If you’ve lost someone you love, chances are you’re tasked with an array of duties, from making arrangements to notifying family members to writing an obituary. It can be overwhelming, and hard to know how to juggle the many different tasks that come your way, especially while in the throes of grief.
Specifically, if you’re looking for how to write an obituary, there are many templates available online, but these tend to include only the basic details about a person’s life. If you want to write a more memorable obituary, the key is to gather as many details as possible about the deceased and put them into a compelling narrative.
Here are the general steps to follow when it comes to how to write an obituary.
Step 1. Gather the most basic details. This includes date of birth, date of death, survivors, those who were predeceased and service/interment information.
Step 2. Start gathering additional details and information. Use the following questions to sort out your own thoughts as well as the thoughts of other loved ones. If it’s easy enough to do, try to gather a group of family/friends or do a Zoom call to brainstorm together.
Questions to ask yourself and others: What was your loved one’s childhood like? Where were they born/where did they live? What were your loved one’s hobbies? How would you describe their personality? What were your loved one’s proudest accomplishments? What did your loved one look like? Are there any funny or interesting stories about your loved one? What did you love most about this person?
Step 3: Put the basic structure of the obituary together. Weave the basic details in with some adjectives and anecdotes about the individual. Consider finishing the obituary with a poignant quote that speaks to their life or personality.
See a fictional example of how to write an obituary in bold below.
A calming presence, innovative entrepreneur and loving father and husband, Fernando Smith passed away on (date) at the age of XXX.
Born on (date) in (city, state), Fernando wiled away the days of his childhood on the shores of the Atlantic. Fishing, boating and swimming were how the ocean-obsessed boy spent his time away from school.
He grew into a serious, creative and kind young man who took pleasure in helping his neighbors with everything from mowing their lawns to walking their beloved pets. Armed with a charitable heart, he refused to take money for his efforts.
Fernando’s book smarts, right-brained nature and sharp intellect helped him build an incredibly successful custom boat building business, XXX. His loyal customers remember his eagerness to please, unique designs and encyclopedic knowledge of the industry.
Fernando married his true love, Gail, on (date) in (venue, city, state). The two met while washing their unmentionables at the local laundromat in (town) — a true meet cute. Their union resulted in two darling and doted-on children: (name) and (name).
The family was extremely tight knit, and Fernando loved nothing more than having the kids’ help to cook tamales, beat his wife at Monopoly or build towering sand castles at the beach.
He was predeceased by XXX, XXX and XXX.
Fernando is survived by XXX, XXX and XXX.
In the words of Rossiter Worthington Raymond: “Life is eternal, and love is immortal, and death is only a horizon; and a horizon is nothing save the limit of our sight.”
Services will be held at St. Mary’s Church in (city, state) on (date) at (time). In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in Fernando’s name to (charity information).
If you have other questions about how to write an obituary or would like professional help, feel free to reach out to me at hannah@memorialwriter.com. For more examples and additional information about hiring an obituary writer, click here.
